Where am I not Taking Responsibility in my Own Life?

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March 11, 2016

I want to talk about taking responsibility.

I’ve been noticing lately where people don’t seem willing to take responsibility for things that happen in their lives, happy to point the finger in any direction but their own. I find this really frustrating and also find my ability to trust them is lessened because I know that they cannot be in a place of truth or integrity if they are allowing themselves to be fooled in this fundamental way (namely the belief that they are not in control of their lives).

I think this habit can be really disempowering. If you’re not responsible for things that happen in your life, how can you possibly feel empowered to create change or be the master of your own destiny, the captain of your own ship?

It’s occurred to me that we don’t see too many great examples at a societal level for taking responsibility and being in integrity, particularly if we look at the leaders of most of the countries of the world. There’s so much underhandedness, finger pointing, bullying, bringing others down, it’s disgusting. I have such a strong distaste for the handing out of blame where the best medicine is often to look inwards, whether that is at a personal or collective level.

I always tend to notice aspects of others before I choose to reflect on that theme within myself – convenient I know but I think this is how self-reflection naturally unfolds (for me anyway)! I’m not going to lie, I have the capacity to be an a******* at times. It’s not something I’m proud of and it’s not something that happens too often these days but it happens, it’s an aspect of me. However, I am more than happy to own up to being a shit in those moments and apologise to the people who have been affected by my behaviour – in fact, this is something that I feel compelled to do in order to move on.

We are fully in control of making change in our lives. Whatever it is that we want to do is completely within our control. That realisation can sometimes be scary if you focus on the difference between where you are and where you want to be – in the words of Marianne Williamson, our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate but that we are powerful beyond measure. When this happens, I bring myself back to appreciating all that I’m grateful for in my life right now and that is a massive list which warms me from the inside out.

So where in your own life might you be pointing the finger or not taking responsibility?

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